Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck: I take a...

Erma Bombeck: I take a...

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18...

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Erma Bombeck: One thing they...

Erma Bombeck: One thing they...

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are...

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Erma Bombeck: Next to hot...

Erma Bombeck: Next to hot...

Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most...

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Erma Bombeck: There is a...

Erma Bombeck: There is a...

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. And how do you know...

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Erma Bombeck: When humor goes,...

Erma Bombeck: When humor goes,...

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

Source: In Webster's Electronic...

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Erma Bombeck: A child develops...

Erma Bombeck: A child develops...

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the...

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Erma Bombeck: Women are never...

Erma Bombeck: Women are never...

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift...

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Erma Bombeck: Guilt: the gift...

Erma Bombeck: Guilt: the gift...

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Source: Quoted by John Skow Time, 2 Jul...

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Erma Bombeck: When my kids...

Erma Bombeck: When my kids...

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb...

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Erma Bombeck: Never accept a...

Erma Bombeck: Never accept a...

Never accept a drink from a Urologist.

Source: In The Ultimate Success Quotations...

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Erma Bombeck: I am not...

Erma Bombeck: I am not...

I am not a glutton -- I am an explorer of food.

Source: In Webster's Electronic...

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Erma Bombeck: The grass is...

Erma Bombeck: The grass is...

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

Source: From Charades, an...

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Erma Bombeck: The only reason...

Erma Bombeck: The only reason...

The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.

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Erma Bombeck: It goes without...

Erma Bombeck: It goes without...

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

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Erma Bombeck: You hear a...

Erma Bombeck: You hear a...

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big...

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