Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner: I want to...

Rita Rudner: I want to...

I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

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Rita Rudner: Before I met...

Rita Rudner: Before I met...

Before I met my husband I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.

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Rita Rudner: I love being...

Rita Rudner: I love being...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your...

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Rita Rudner: My mother buried...

Rita Rudner: My mother buried...

My mother buried three husbands . . . and two of them were only napping.

Source:...

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Rita Rudner: Someday I want...

Rita Rudner: Someday I want...

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to...

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Rita Rudner: My husband and...

Rita Rudner: My husband and...

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our...

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Rita Rudner: Men reach their...

Rita Rudner: Men reach their...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at forty-five. Do you get the feeling God is playing a...

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Rita Rudner: To attract men,...

Rita Rudner: To attract men,...

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''

Source: From a...

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Rita Rudner: Most turkeys taste...

Rita Rudner: Most turkeys taste...

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

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Rita Rudner: My husband gave...

Rita Rudner: My husband gave...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want...

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