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Phyllis Diller: I've been asked...

Phyllis Diller: I've been asked...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and...

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Betty Carter: You can do...

Betty Carter: You can do...

You can do anything you want to do, if you know what to do.

Source: From a...

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Nina Simone: Everything that happened...

Nina Simone: Everything that happened...

Everything that happened to me as a child involved music. It was part of everyday life, as automatic as...

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Joan Didion: A place belongs...

Joan Didion: A place belongs...

A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes...

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Liza Minnelli: There are so...

Liza Minnelli: There are so...

There are so many girls, and so few princes.

Source: On why girls marry badly, in...

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Elayne Boosler: Ever notice that...

Elayne Boosler: Ever notice that...

Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Source: From an...

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Gracie Allen: The Senate is...

Gracie Allen: The Senate is...

The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the...

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Betty Carter: If it wasn't...

Betty Carter: If it wasn't...

If it wasn't for [pimps, prostitutes, hustlers, gangsters, and gamblers] there wouldn't be no jazz! They supported the...

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Alice Childress: . . ....

Alice Childress: . . ....

. . . the good old days. The only good days are ahead.

Source: Alice Childress, in...

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Elizabeth Taylor: It is strange......

Elizabeth Taylor: It is strange......

It is strange... that the years teach us patience; that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for...

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Lynn Fontanne: When I am...

Lynn Fontanne: When I am...

When I am on a stage, I am the focus of thousands of eyes and it gives me strength. I feel that something, some...

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Lillian Gish: Young man, if...

Lillian Gish: Young man, if...

Young man, if God had wanted you to see me that way, he would have put your eyes in your...

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Carrie Fisher: I am a...

Carrie Fisher: I am a...

I am a spy in the house of me. I report back from the front lines of the battle that is me. I am somewhat nonplused by...

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Roseanne Barr: It's okay to...

Roseanne Barr: It's okay to...

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

Source:...

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Carol Burnett: Are we having...

Carol Burnett: Are we having...

Are we having fun yet?

Source: In The Speaker's Electronic Reference Collection,...

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Shirley MacLaine: The more I...

Shirley MacLaine: The more I...

The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who would be...

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Elizabeth Arden: Death not merely...

Elizabeth Arden: Death not merely...

Death not merely ends life, it also bestows upon it a silent completeness, snatched from the hazardous flux to which...

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Fannie Hurst: Some people think...

Fannie Hurst: Some people think...

Some people think they are worth a lot of money just because they have it.

Source:...

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Whitney Houston: I don't like...

Whitney Houston: I don't like...

I don't like it when they [media critics] see me as this little person who doesn't know what to do with herself --...

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Mariah Carey: A lot of...

Mariah Carey: A lot of...

A lot of people are singing about how screwed up the world is, and I don't think that everybody wants to hear about...

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