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Elayne Boosler: Ever notice that...

Elayne Boosler: Ever notice that...

Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Source: From an...

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Joan Rivers: People say that...

Joan Rivers: People say that...

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key...

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Lucille Ball: I regret the...

Lucille Ball: I regret the...

I regret the passing of the studio system. I was very appreciative of it because I had no...

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Alice Childress: The twisted circumstances...

Alice Childress: The twisted circumstances...

The twisted circumstances under which we live is grist for the writing mill, the loving, hating and discovering,...

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Alice Childress: . . ....

Alice Childress: . . ....

. . . and realizing there is no such thing as the Black experience. . . . Time and events allow for change on both...

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Sharon Stone: Real happiness comes...

Sharon Stone: Real happiness comes...

Real happiness comes from inside. Nobody can give it to you.

Source: Parade,...

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Edith Evans: A successful artist...

Edith Evans: A successful artist...

A successful artist of any kind has to work so hard that she is justified in refusing to lay down her sceptre until...

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Ethel Barrymore: Wrinkles should only...

Ethel Barrymore: Wrinkles should only...

Wrinkles should only indicate where smiles have been.

Source: In Words of Women...

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Katharine Hepburn: My greatest strength...

Katharine Hepburn: My greatest strength...

My greatest strength is . . . common sense. I'm really a standard brand -- like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's...

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Katharine Hepburn: Without discipline, there's...

Katharine Hepburn: Without discipline, there's...

Without discipline, there's no life at all.

Source: The Dick Cavett Show -- ABC,...

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Sophia Loren: The two big...

Sophia Loren: The two big...

The two big advantages I had at birth were to have been born wise and to have been born in...

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Lauren Bacall: When a woman...

Lauren Bacall: When a woman...

When a woman reaches twenty-six in America, she's on the slide. It's downhill all the way from then on. It doesn't...

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Lillian Gish: Young man, if...

Lillian Gish: Young man, if...

Young man, if God had wanted you to see me that way, he would have put your eyes in your...

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Cornelia Otis Skinner: I can't see...

Cornelia Otis Skinner: I can't see...

I can't see how any woman can find time to do to herself all the things that must apparently be done to make herself...

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Carrie Fisher: I am a...

Carrie Fisher: I am a...

I am a spy in the house of me. I report back from the front lines of the battle that is me. I am somewhat nonplused by...

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Whoopi Goldberg: I believe that...

Whoopi Goldberg: I believe that...

I believe that parts of people like John Garfield and Moms Mabley, the parts of them that I needed to be able to do...

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Gilda Radner: It is so...

Gilda Radner: It is so...

It is so hard for us little human beings to accept this deal that we get. It's really crazy, isn't it? We act to live,...

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Carol Burnett: Comedy is tragedy...

Carol Burnett: Comedy is tragedy...

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Source: From Charades, an internet collection of...

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Carol Burnett: Are we having...

Carol Burnett: Are we having...

Are we having fun yet?

Source: In The Speaker's Electronic Reference Collection,...

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Lynda Barry: Love will make...

Lynda Barry: Love will make...

Love will make a way out of no way.

Source: Big Ideas, 1983.
-- Lynda Barry,...

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